For those who are reading Agent Kats series for first time, please note that it is always semi-fictitious and I have NO violent bones in my body! Any resemblance to living, dead, zombies or what you (might) sometimes feel is truly-swear-by-my-thesis unintentional. To know more about Agent Kats, please drop by here and here.
In the most unexpected of moments,
Agent Kats just popped up today! She is such a ray of sunshine when
days get all monotonous and tiring due to unbeatable,
increasing-by-the-second pile of work. Of course I try not to get her
involved too much but some days you just canNOT help but use brute
force!
There is a reason why they call it the
'silent room'. If I wanted atrocious, unsynchronized, senseless
pounding in my ears, I might have as well waited to make my report in
the middle of Dames square on Queens Day. I was working in the
extra-silent section of the library so as to reach my highest
concentration and productivity levels on a rather dark, drowsy Sunday
afternoon right before Spring break. You can imagine how easy that
must be! Well, it was almost as if I had the entire library to myself
barring few other oddballs like me. And it seemed like I could do a
lot that day.....
And then enters a lanky, tall,
brown-bush-haired, annoying version of Sheldon Cooper. Yeah, you can
imagine that as well I suppose! I knew him generally and a genius
that he is, his parents have my respect for conjuring a super-brain
and putting it in his head; really. But its ends there. A
self-obsessed, arrogant, insolent, nonchalant creep that he was, he
had to pick the spot right behind me. And as if all the charming
qualities he possessed weren't enough, I discovered that day that he
likes to use his keyboard as a punchball. What's with people when
they pound their keyboards like it cheated on them with their
partners/spouses? Be a little gentle to the machine and respect it a
little, even if you are next in line to win a Nobel prize. His table
was literally shaking with all the hammering and its not a pretty
sound in a nearly empty glass house, especially if the desk right
behind you is buffeting like a Boeing at high a-o-a. To add salt on
raw wounds, he had to grumble (aloud!) about science-knows-what when
clearly, there was a sign that said “Stilte a.u.b!” (Silence
please!)
The muttering and ramming continued for
a while and my day of high expectations was inching closer to
devastation. I couldn't move to another spot as that computer was
running simulations which wasn't backed up yet! My head began to
throb and I almost whirred around to confront him. That's when I felt
a deep shiver go down my spine. The glass all around began to
resonate with some unknown energy. I felt like I was going to fling
myself on that annoying brainiac. It took a great deal to stop
myself. I clung on to my chair and that's when a translucent shell
flared out of me. I knew it! It had to be her. She couldn't stay in
anymore; not with all the ramming and muttering when all she needed
was peace and quiet. The dark-haired, athletic maiden with eyes as
sharp as a steely knife had come to my aid. It was her-Agent Kats!
Phew! It had been more than a year since I saw her... What a treat to
the eyes!
Agent Kats flew out of the vibrating
shell like a ninja and landed right next to the guy. Before he could
sense her, Agent Kats raised her iron-arm high and with one swift
blow pounded his fingers into the keyboard. She kept pounding his
hand, until he cried like a 5-year old boy. He tried arrogantly to
push Agent Kats away, but that just infuriated her even more!
She rammed his head into the monitor,
plucked its wires off the sockets and wrung it around his neck. His
eyes were popping out but she couldn't have cared less. She grabbed
the keyboard right beneath his squashed fingers and whacked him hard
enough to crack his skull. The whole library seemed to float in his
blood. Somehow, I was not touched by any of this goriness.
At that moment, she whipped out her
OMG23 console and spun it high in the air. Gold and red of the
console flashed so fast that it almost became invisible. A giant gust
of air started rising from the ground and I felt a slight tug. Agent
Kats had lifted me up with her and placed me on the window sill of
the towering library. The view was absolutely breathtaking. I hadn't
realized before that the roof of the library dome was so high...
Wait, it wasn't, it just was Agent Kats. She wanted me to be safe
from the rising blast of air and had elongated the roof higher. The
guy was waking up and I began to wonder why Agent Kats wasn't doing
anything. What if he escaped ?
 |
| !* |
At that very moment, I saw it. A giant
vortex began circling along the walls of the library. It was
red........Oh! It was his blood! He was trapped in a vortex of his
own blood that had been shed before! The spinning OMG23 console
picked up speed and the blood-y air only gathered more momentum. The
annoying guy was spinning rapidly, hitting the walls and knocking
past spinning chairs and computers in the vortex. I could sense that
the inertial forces were very high and he would never be able to get
out of it himself. He was screaming, I could see, but nothing was
heard over the OMG23 as it was emitting a high frequency noise not
unlike rotor blades! It was almost hard for me to breathe.. I was
feeling woozy just looking down upon the core of a giant vortex.
Agent Kats looked at me and she knew it was time to end it. She flung
herself high and landed unscathed right in the center of the core.
She started spinning, reversing the curl like it was child's play!
Boy, could she play with physics! I couldn't help but admire her even
more.. She was creating her own vortex, the Kat-vortex. She began to
rise while gyrating and was now alongside her console. The
counter-rotating vortices had begun to merge into each other and the
annoying guy was overstretched on all sides. The blood vortex and
Kat-vortex formed a mixing layer of high viscosity. The geek who got
stuck in this stratum began to feel the traction and was almost
unconscious now. That's when Agent Kats stopped spinning and
retracted her OMG23 console while hissing something deep to it. The
second she did it, the highly turbulent vortices exploded and
completely dissipated into thin air. The force expelled blew the
glass house into smithereens. I was so sure I'd be the prey of all
the exploding shreds of glass but Agent Kats knew not to hurt me. She
had created a bubble of high polymer density around us and was
smiling when I looked up. The dust was settling down and there were
monitors, keyboards, and processors everywhere amidst the broken
glass. The guy was nowhere to be seen around and I didn't want to know
what happened to him. Agent Kats shrunk into her cocoon and floated
towards me. I looked reproachfully at her reckoning the collateral
damage she had caused. But she looked gravely at me and said “You
know deep down that it had to be done” and she drifted right back into me. She was right.. It was
unbearable torture before Agent Kats had appeared that day.
Why do people provoke Agent Kats? Why
can't they remain silent when they ought to? As much as I love seeing
her time and again, its just painful in many ways when she
leaves....But, nevertheless, Thank you Agent Kats...
aeroyogi
2-3-2012
!* From google images!
