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This blog is named after one of my poems. Even thought its not the best of the lot, I just fell in love with those words- The Psyche Unknown...

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Allegory- Distorted...

To all those suffering from cognitive distortions and its after-effects. Realise. Repair. Redeem.

The door creaked as it slowly swayed to the winds of the fruiting autumn. The broken glass on the window echoed the final rays of an evening sun and the droplets of rain that had turned brown on the rooftop, trickled down imperceptibly along the sodden brick walls. She gazed across the far slopes of the Alpine sierra that had already pocketed snow in several of its hollows. The shepherds' kids, who still had the light in them, chased the piglets close to the stream that trickled away from her condominium. Looking along the horizon, she saw the towering framework of opulence, disdain and greed that once was a fragment of her socially decorous life. A life not too far in the past that had confounded her into the oblivion. She saw the lights, she heard the noises, all far away, but the stench of a life long lost still followed her much like a shadow of the day.

She dragged long and deep from between her fingers. The smell of her muddy hands combined with the unearthly taste of the reefer lifted her to a trance where she skipped to the beat of the drums beyond the sphere. Her eyes so glazed, reflected the dark of all eternity and flashes of her childhood bounced around . Ridiculed by a mother who only wanted her to be the best and untrusted by her father who only wanted her safe, often were her frolics held on the slippery edge of disappointment and ire. Learning to please her creators, she had checked herself strictly into submission to the point of foolishness. Through her loneliness, she discovered the joy of imagination. She meticulously built an empire of fantasies that filled every dry void in her soul. A place where she changed skin, lived a life so antithetic and prospered like no human could humanely do.  She never recognised that her abyssal craving for compliance had consumed her wholly from within her skull. Every moment she spent in reality begged her to go to that one place where she could reign over, where life wouldn't be so strenuous, where the elements danced to her wishes and where she remained unbeatable. Her fondness for her alternate lives thrived. She eventually detached from the bubble of reality and floated far into a place she deemed better.

The sad part about reality for her was that it never realised her worth. Every time she was pulled back into tangibility, she felt the inadequacies of a mundane life. Nothing could ever be perfect as in her exquisite mind. Not even her. Seeking acceptance from every one became her impetus. As she grew older, she nurtured the giant mirror that always lied.  Every time it spat an image so cruel, that she lost her song in the layers of the shiny silver. Her cognition was tampered with and her view was so braided that she found million shredded pieces of herself in every pixel of a seemingly antagonistic world.

She erred on this earth while she knew not why. She failed a thousand times unwittingly and the count only grew. Her friends called her a fighter but only she saw the rocks burying her beneath. Her guardians were finally pleased with her but she wondered how that ever came to be. People applauded and drew carpets for her while she only saw masked pity. Opportunities she grabbed seemed like a clear case of charity. How could the world elude logic and try to pacify her? She was nowhere near perfection that she was known for, in her other worlds, in those true places. Her brows formed a permanent gorge on her forehead and she had let the insanities of this world flow through it. No matter how many told her otherwise, she imagined that she was the reason for all the wrong in this world. She fell short of her own measure in a far better place and she could not live with it. The guilt of being contemptible could only hold her in reins so long. Her every imagined flaw had turned into an obsessive hound set to kill. She fled from this world to a place where one couldn't bother bringing her back any more.

She slowly blinked in the haze of her present. Her intoxications had given her, her world within the world of apparent chaos, a world devoid of trials to pull her away. The bud had nearly faded in her fingers while her sight cleared from the past. The noises she hated grew louder and the lights brighter. They seemed much closer than she had perceived.The space seemed to have shrunk, with her view now over the mould-ridden walls of her neighbour. She looked around her house that never was a home. She couldn't care less about the loose door or the roof that leaked. Her accolades, all stood there mocking  aloud about the life she had misconceived.  The winds that picked up intensity grazed her bones as her leg slipped into thin air. She peered down the window sill of the urban tower that she was perched upon, to see the little playful piglets beckoning her. The meadows formed behind them and the stream trickled again. The busy metropolitan streets had paled into those green moulds of the south she yearned for, her happy place. She clutched the window and swung her other leg out facing the golden hue of the evening sky.

Her feet danced to the rhythm of the drums that continued to play from beyond. Everything else muted, she could hear herself breathe in tandem with the beats. The breeze whisked those stray locks away from her face and set them free. Her lips parted in a smile as distorted as her view was in the moment she let go of the plank. She sailed across and beyond, nescient of her tumult, gliding towards her one true love, her one true home...


!* Courtesy: Google Images