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This blog is named after one of my poems. Even thought its not the best of the lot, I just fell in love with those words- The Psyche Unknown...

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

College Ramayana..

This was written when I was about to enter Engineering. It may sound kiddish or even more- ridiculous, but it wasn't so then.. Though I don't appreciate the style of writing, somehow its still close to my heart.. feel like treasuring it..
june 9, 2008

From the day i entered my +2 i was put into a constant battle of thoughts,
thoughts which would change my life. i was entering into a wagon of utmost
fears & strong decisions.there had to be no mistakes.
now that my exams are over, the stress of getting into a "good" college
is hovering over my head. i wonder, people who know me are more so tensed
than i am & create a horrid aura by letting me not take a decision on my own.
just as i'm about to take a good judgement there comes someone, who
wouldn't have come otherwise, to spoil all my thought flows & to enjoy seeing me
confused. all i feel like doing is that pull the person's hair as he spoilt my
decision making capabilities which rarely manifests itself in good colours.
then there are my respectable gaurdians who are as anxious as me and go about
about asking everyone as to which course is good in which college.....
that is the last thing that would suffice me. being a student who is talented &
getting a good score in boards , not as good as to praise myself & ward of all my
worries, the last thing i would want to get done is to be confused. but who
would understand?
"don't go to this college " says one,the other says "hey, thats the best
college" ........"don't take up this course"... while yet another-"hey that is the best course out there, pal".....
"thats just for guys yaar" goes one, where as the other says "you can do it.. its an evergreen branch for everyone!!"
well,, who would you beleive??????
rattling through these thoughts daily is a stressful job for sure. unsure
of the path (even if your sure,the brains around let you go unsure), one tends
to lose confidence over one self.
i was a student well prepared for my future... but then it was my gaurdians
mistake of consulting everyone & brought in all the stupid reasons for
letting me go astray. i am in a situation where i can't oppose them nor can i go ahead
with it.
please ....if you are ready for your future, then DON'T ask anybody's
advice for you will be in a trouble that you may find it hard to cope up with
and even come out of it.........

The Emperor's New Clothes..

Again, this was written when i was in12th grade. I think I have tried to dramatize my feelings then, and I have horribly messed it up. But I'd just leave it like this-cos' "Whatever is written remains forever"
june 9th, 2008

That was a usual story ......once upon a time, there lived an emperor........
but the good it did to me is known only to me.......
i was a 4th grade student then, when this story of a foolish emperor who beleives the tale of 2 strangers
who comes to him to find a job and ends up in losing all his reputation by going naked in front of his
subjects was taken up by my teachers as a play that was to be enacted during the annual day.
i was chosen as the emperor , of course i was proud enough to be doing the major role in a play. i was excited
even as i had to endure the hard practices, the lasting tempers of all teachers who wanted perfection.
the play went excellently well, more successfully than anyone had imagined. everyone were happy including
the headmistress,Mother Domnique, an angel of our time in school , my parents, granny , all of them.
now after almost 10 years of time that has elapsed since the play was enacted my teachers(primary school)
remember me as the emperor. a few of number of meetings with those teachers showed that they all remembered
me as the emperor as yet, but i wasn't sure if they would remember me as that always, i thought it was just
a period of time when they would forget me, my name, my role, everything else about me,but today i was
proven wrong!!!
After 10 years of time they still acknowledge me as an emperor. they welcome me into their staff room as
"helloo! emperor.....how are you feeling?" i was dumbstruck as they all unanimously said "oh! emperor,
come in please, take your seat your majesty", i thought some of them would recognize me as an emperor but never even
in my dreams did i expect that ALL the teachers would still remember me in the same way. On my note of thanks that they
still thought i was worth of being remembered for my pretty role, they said " Of course how can we forget
you? that play was the best one in many years and none of the other plays till date have been as successful as
yours and every time we need to find a new play for the annual day, we first remember you ,the emperor, the
play and the time we had then. it is very hard to forget you" . well now that they had said it i must admit
that no one until date had said it . i was on the ninth cloud.probably somewhere even beyond it. that was a
wonderful moment.
not just the teachers, but also the previous headmistress ,Mother domnique, who also remembers the same
girl of 4th grade. Meeting her after 10 years in itself was a joyous moment , and above all listening
that she, the best headmistress I've known, still remembered me for the role i played , was beyond words.
My voice box didn't get the right impulse at the right time to produce even a faint sound, leave alone to express what i was
feeling, but i was sure i hadn't felt that happy any time in life. and today to double my happiness my teachers
were there.......they are the teachers who gave a strong base to my learning, and the way they have
moulded me and all my friends is shown in us as to what we are today...a fine platform was erected by them,
ready for us to mount......indeed they have proved themselves as the makers of our lives........
the warmth that they had given us away is miraculous. and i am still in their memories, as an emperor....
the feeling of being recognised by your best, favourite teachers after a long time is THE feeling to be experienced.
It is a chosen blessing bestowed upon you that could bring in a rapid yet eternal feeling of satisfaction
and happiness...

swathi- the emperor or shall we say the empress?!;)

My Grandfather's old room...

Another one of my stress busters during 12th!I know, I know-pathetic usage of words and some in the wrong places too but... you must have realized by now- I'd just leave those mistakes to remain there.. It would be an insult to that 12th grade girl struggling with her exams if I make any changes..
june 9, 2008

i was proud to enter my grandfather's room just before my exams. it was officially
handed over to me as my room. it had 10 windows!!!!! i was extremely happy
about my new possession. but little did i know that the troubles would just begin.
i live in an area where houses were built very closely. the area was quite old,
with almost all houses built before 1970's. this is one reason that my mornings turn upside down..
every time i had to get up, i didn't need an alarm, the neighbourhood dog
was sufficient.its consistent barking would make my hair stand up...,not in fright
but in anger.the dog always wanting to get out of the clutches of his/her(i failed to recognise its gender-for convenience sake i think 'it' would suffice; with meaning no offence to the dog) master & the master never letting it go out.day in & day out there was only one noise and one phrase i
could hear-The unbounded barking of the dog at its master & the riff-raff
"CAESU... WAA... INGE....." from the master. I was flabberghasted at the constant battle
between the shrill crys of the mistress & the narrow squeaks of the dumb dog.
at times i could not make out whom the lady was calling....sometimes
she said "cheeju", sometimes "seeju" & many times the son of hers would
answer the call. it was a challenge for me to know as to why this guy answered
the call for the dog. lately(probably too late)i found that the dog was called
Caesar & the son was called seenu ,short for his long name. the 2 sounds mixed
up so well that one couldn't guess if the dog or the son was being called. one thing
is sure if Shakespeare was here ,he would definitely be upset seeing that his
wonderful character's name was used to name such a haunting creature.
you may wonder ,why i was giving so much importance to that dog & its
trainer. what more can i do if the squeaks of the dog & the cries of the lady pull
me out of my books even though the windows and the doors were closed.....
even to this day i have to get up by listening to the barks of the dog or
the incessant chattering of the lady with her associates about why she couldn't
sleep last night or the guffawing of the son over his mobile.........
slowly mera jeena haram ho gaya hai. i am no longer proud to be the
owner of my grandfather's room .
will u beleive?????????? i still hear the dog barking & the mistress comes
down the stairs ceasu....... waa inge........
the saga will continue untill they are alive ,,,,no doubt about that......