Allegory-Dethroned....

It struck her hard... She was just coming to terms with the new reality and an old saddle fell down crashing on her..

All she wanted was to clean up her past and let the shine of the present lighten her spirit. But then she winded up questioning her own identity. For she had so dearly associated with it, that even distance and time hadn't erased the bitter-sweet memories of a world she had construed. The world which strayed out of its orbit to another galaxy.

She had been dethroned. She had been replaced. Stripped off all her dignity in front of the world. The hopes she once foolishly harbored in her willfully dim psyche had been squandered. She chided herself for not realizing beforehand that this day would come. What was she expecting?A warm welcome back with probably a deeply written apology?! She was feeling the sting of her predator even long after she had been set free.

And the lonely evening offered no help in alleviating it. She looked out of her window and couldn't recognise the dampish road that reflected the twinkling lights from the mystic Chinese entrepot. May be it was the November mist that obscured the window or the shock and the anger that clouded her eyes, she felt lost amidst a haze of billowing long coats..

The sound of typical high-heeled boots reached her from across the street and she instantly realized her nakedness in the world. Once, a happy aspirant, was now stranded with all doors closed and guarded by a heavy iron mantle. She had tried to move it, she had tried to get back to the one thing that had made her vulnerable, to the one thing that had pulled her out of her tediously built fort, to the one thing she foolishly thought was going to last for a lifetime, but as destiny would have it, she only slipped on to the muddy uneven ground below.

There were days when she had reined, days when she wept-but not for herself, days when her soul flew off her grasp ecstatically and days she had hastily retraced steps back to her cover.And after more than a year of nonchalance, in fact neglect, she still felt the pang of all emotions bundled as one. This wasn't new to her but the knowledge of knowing she had been replaced charred her cells till they were dead.

A finality had been reached and she hadn't planned on encountering it. The totality of the universe seemed to be acting in unison,screaming out changes since a long time and she never suspected it for once. Her true innocent nature that rippled in her veins had distracted her from the harrowing truth.

And now all she could do was stare out of her window. She couldn't shed a tear, may be that would have helped. But it wasn't grief cos she knew she was once glad to fall out of captivity of negativity. It was disbelief, anger- with herself and the world. She had let them mock while she shed her real identity and had transformed into a puppet. She had enjoyed it..

She would still go around the universe, holding dearly the world she once owned. She only had to search for it now.

 No, How could she?! She was in a better place after all, she had flourished multi-fold. Her self-respect was indeed the top priority.

 But  the world she owned was definitely the most beautiful of all. If only there was a binding force...

No, it was gone, she had to snub the other feeling. She couldn't let it go on. There would be a better place and she would take a root there.

At the moment, a whirlpool of autumn leaves carried the cold winds to her. It stung her but she endured it. She knew she had to prevail through it, she could acclimatize, same as with her new position.

The cold penetrated deep into her nerves even though the fresh golden yellow leaves covered her torso. Vengeance some day would feel sweet. She would taste it for sure.

 Her cold lips quivered in her smile and her eyelids closed tight pushing forth two tiny pearls of droplets that glinted in the blue of the diamond like eyes that shone far far away from her.....

aeroyogi

9/11/2010