College Ramayana..

This was written when I was about to enter Engineering. It may sound kiddish or even more- ridiculous, but it wasn't so then.. Though I don't appreciate the style of writing, somehow its still close to my heart.. feel like treasuring it..
june 9, 2008

From the day i entered my +2 i was put into a constant battle of thoughts,
thoughts which would change my life. i was entering into a wagon of utmost
fears & strong decisions.there had to be no mistakes.
now that my exams are over, the stress of getting into a "good" college
is hovering over my head. i wonder, people who know me are more so tensed
than i am & create a horrid aura by letting me not take a decision on my own.
just as i'm about to take a good judgement there comes someone, who
wouldn't have come otherwise, to spoil all my thought flows & to enjoy seeing me
confused. all i feel like doing is that pull the person's hair as he spoilt my
decision making capabilities which rarely manifests itself in good colours.
then there are my respectable gaurdians who are as anxious as me and go about
about asking everyone as to which course is good in which college.....
that is the last thing that would suffice me. being a student who is talented &
getting a good score in boards , not as good as to praise myself & ward of all my
worries, the last thing i would want to get done is to be confused. but who
would understand?
"don't go to this college " says one,the other says "hey, thats the best
college" ........"don't take up this course"... while yet another-"hey that is the best course out there, pal".....
"thats just for guys yaar" goes one, where as the other says "you can do it.. its an evergreen branch for everyone!!"
well,, who would you beleive??????
rattling through these thoughts daily is a stressful job for sure. unsure
of the path (even if your sure,the brains around let you go unsure), one tends
to lose confidence over one self.
i was a student well prepared for my future... but then it was my gaurdians
mistake of consulting everyone & brought in all the stupid reasons for
letting me go astray. i am in a situation where i can't oppose them nor can i go ahead
with it.
please ....if you are ready for your future, then DON'T ask anybody's
advice for you will be in a trouble that you may find it hard to cope up with
and even come out of it.........
swathi
16/6/2005