To a mirror image, to an inspiration, to a wonderful, wilful woman I know...
The howling winds only made her strong.. She couldn't stop
smiling as she gasped for breath.. Intense and heavy as was the recent
past, she was just glad it was all over.. Not feeling the pain, not
feeling that pinch of guilt any more, and not surrendering to all her
fantasies made her feel powerful.. even amidst that fire shooting
through her skull.. She felt her flesh being cut open with a blunt knife and
yet all that she sensed was intense relief.. The feeling of self and the
feeling of being..
The cosmos had played tricks with her.. She had been taken on a mammoth ride..She had tried hard not to throw up and be embarrassed.. unsuccessfully of course! With twists that shattered her body and tugs that ruined her soul, she was bruised beyond repair.. Harder as her grit got, stronger were the forces that sheared it apart until she had flowed all over the place.. One couldn't blame the coldness that eventually cast in and the hardness that followed setting her flesh in stone.. She had found it hard to forgive, a trait that she prided on long before the circumstances.. Her grin had turned lopsided and it seemed like it could never change..
What more could a stone turn into? She sensed one day.. The
forces weren't enough to break her any more and the whips of misfortune
couldn't maim her henceforth.. They kept striking like similar waves on a shore to no sensational effect.. She knew the end was no where near but a
certain numbness erased any evidence of worry in her. The realization
embodied as a dim but strong light in her. The cosmos had played tricks with her.. She had been taken on a mammoth ride..She had tried hard not to throw up and be embarrassed.. unsuccessfully of course! With twists that shattered her body and tugs that ruined her soul, she was bruised beyond repair.. Harder as her grit got, stronger were the forces that sheared it apart until she had flowed all over the place.. One couldn't blame the coldness that eventually cast in and the hardness that followed setting her flesh in stone.. She had found it hard to forgive, a trait that she prided on long before the circumstances.. Her grin had turned lopsided and it seemed like it could never change..
She toppled onto the top and stood glaringly against the elements that mocked her.. That had, had her in their reins and then beaten into a swarm of blazing lava..That which tricked her into building trust on a mantle brick by brick only to shake its very foundation cruelly.. But acceptance had become her friend.. her strength.. the source that breathed life through her at her worst.. Her fortitude had remained a humble servant and her new found love for patience and nonchalance rejuvenated her..
She stood there with rooted feet as the winds nearly tore her
skin, as the fire charred her bloody black and as gales of fumes
swallowed her lungs. She stood there with the broadest smile one could
have and the peace innate felt golden to her. The forces shrunk with
every quarter of her widening mirth..and she felt her strength return..
The bliss of letting go of her hatred, doubts and complaints had been
the key.. She let them all go in exchange for apathy and she felt
radiant. Closure was what she had needed and bruised beyond relief was
what helped her.. The act of an ending was marked by the start of a new
beginning.. A beginning that promised nothing in return for all that she
went through. The field wide open and blank, was becoming her favourite
playground. Oh! what a feeling not to feel a thing! She knew that
eventually this had to stop. There was not enough strength in the
universe to bring her down. She now knew she could handle it. Letting go
of sand that slipped by, of bricks taken down by force, of pillars that were
never hers and of a domicile that never would be was becoming easier by the
second. Her fortification of rebellion was growing strong and she stood
mutinous within. She wouldn't beg for a change. Her pride of all wasn't lost.
The forces would drop their guard. Her rebirth would well be spectacular
and when it ensued, she would be prepared to strike with vengeance. For
now, she shrunk so small within that familiar, safe, diffident inferno
of her insurrection that she could breathe nothing but the abhorrent
present off her heated hulk. Peace vested her, her eyes closed and all that was left was a
wise, radiant smile...
aeroyogi
16/9/2013
aeroyogi
16/9/2013
2 comments:
intense!
..some struggles are... :)
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