It was 2 am on a slightly
wet Sunday. I was on top of the library dome as I had been on several
occassions. I had returned from one of my midnight strolls around the campus.
Those familiar routes that I took during the day always seemed so different, so
warm and welcoming when the lights had faded.
Like more often than never,
the slope was deserted at that hour. I climbed up top and stared at the
horizon. The lights from the green houses far east reflected in the sky making
it look golden even at that hour of night. Many students of science still
ensured that the EWI and 3ME facades shone brighter than the stars. A bunch of
clouds heading from the south-west were setting out to blanket the few
constellations that were visible from up there. The grass was as soft as ever
and the night couldn’t be more silent. I loved it, as always. I laid
down on that amazingly well manicured grass. Perfect time and place to let out
my thoughts and get some answers from the cosmos.
 |
| That one friendly slope.. |
But as I lay on the green
bed of solitude, peace and unspoken acquaintance, I realized that it was
probably the last time, in a while atleast, that I was going to be up there.
Earlier that week, I defended my thesis and hibernated for two straight days. I
had crossed the finish line, something that was just a dream and a doubt for a
long time and it hadn’t even sunk in yet. It
had been a long, incredible journey. A tiresome one, in more than one way. Unlike
most, I had a lot more to account myself for than just exams and grades. Just about
45 days short of a 3 year stint in this resplendent country was coming to an
end. And what an experience it had been!
Many vivid memories, good,
bad and the ugly ones flashed by. Those rebellions, the countless arguments, that
unmeasured amounts of blood, sweat and tears that had been shed in the past 4
years were all coming back. And as if to compensate, there was the pure joy
when I realized I was finally doing what I wanted to. The brilliant
opportunities I got, the fantastic friends that I made, the wonderous sights I
saw, the incredible lessons I learnt both in and outside class, those many
experiments-some that succeeded and most which failed...Wow!
It was in this country that I learned what life was all about.. A place where I
felt more like an engineer...A place where I could break from the shackles of
blind theism that had only lead me downhill.. Most importantly this is where I
made peace with my inner self and I cannot do justice in describing that one
feeling here.
 |
| That one canal.. |
As these thoughts gathered,
I saw a satellite cross above me. I loved following them as long as my gaze
could hold. That globe of dark clouds was engulfing a lot quicker and the
satellite prompltly disappeared behind it. My thoughts went back to all the
places I‘d miss around there. Through out my studies, I
often heard complaints from people about Delft. Facts like it is very small and
uneventful compared to bigger cities of Holland cannot be disgraced.
Nevertheless, it remains a beautiful little city especially once you know it
well. Some spots of this historic city would always remain with me for the
sheer support it lent with its beauty. The Oostport, the library rooftop, the
canals that ran throughout the city are all sublime designs to calm a rampant
mind. It would be impossible to forget the destressing late night walks and the
jogs around these places, especially after hectic lab hours during the last few
months.
I was shaken from this
riviera by Holland’s trademark drizzle. Enough to send your lazy
bottom in search of a roof but not enough that you’d have
to change into warmer clothes! I smiled realizing it had stopped bothering me
over the years and in fact, I slightly enjoyed it. I sat up straight and just
soaked in that scene for a while longer. I did not want to get down that slope
that night. TU Delft’s library (by the way,
ranked as the 4th coolest library in the world ;)) had been a friend of sorts
to me. It had played host to a lot of birthdays, coffees, exam preparations, a
few beers, sun-sets, star gazing, philosophical and scientific debates,
heart-to-heart conversations, snow-fights, yoga and meditation on warm mornings
and so much more! It had seen me blunder, heard my musings, responded to my ruminations
in ways I can’t describe and at the end always elevated my senses! I’d miss that place most of all.
I eventually headed
downward letting gravity do most of the work. TU Delft logo caught my eye from
across the street and I realized how incredibly lucky I was to have been under
that umbrella. I wouldn’t choose another place
for studying! I wished I had only done my bachelors there as well. Time and
again I have envied those who have been able to finish their entire studies in
Delft. That night was no different. I remembered the remarkably awe-inspiring
minds I met there, things I learnt from them, the ideas I exchanged all of
which transformed me into something I wished for when I left home. I had gotten
what I asked for- An experience of a lifetime and knowledge transcending mere
coursework. And I wished I could have stuck around for longer but then it
reminded me of something I read a while ago- If you begin to get too
comfortable with a place, you know its time to move. It was better to do so
while I still could. As I had learnt in Holland, life is very short and the
world is too damn big and exciting for a human to be holding on to one
impression.
Holland had shown its
varied facets to me over these years. For an oddball that somehow managed to
hop out of the well, it had been kind sometimes and not so much the others. But
each time, it only made me stronger. And for that I will be ever grateful. And
now, even as I type this sitting about a few hours away from the place that had
become my second home, I cannot help but feel distant and desolated.
I kept postponing this
article because I wanted to give this series a grand ending but nothing seems
to harmonize with the spirit inward from a long time. Evincing a myriad of
emotions pertaining to this journey has been harder than I thought and I do not want to conclude this
series. I shall pause for now.. May be there is another life here... May be
there is more, or may be some day I will unearth that psyche unknown who can
verbalize better...
For now dear Holland, Tot
Ziens!
 |
| Oostport |
aeroyogi
13/10/2012
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