Allegory-Clouded...

Uncertainties.... They seem to keep abreast with her life.. The moment of clear elation 24 hours ago disappeared as swiftly as it had come. Thronged by failures from all sides, she stared endlessly at the most mundane of things. They had brought alongside a herculean gust of dubiousness, pain and self-disgust. How did she land herself in this position? Where was the ambitious, successful and respected woman that once embellished her psyche? She felt the ridicule showered from all sides sting her deepest vein like venom on lesions.

She tried to track her moves back to point at a single big mistake that had catapulted her into this muss only to realize that every move she had made in the recent past had been faulty. It was surprising how she even managed to stand upright till now. She looked for someone to blame, may be God, who she wasn't sure if existed, her menial brain power that had time and again embarrassed her in midst of people who knew not the meaning of the word, her stars which she never believed before and many many more quarries that she deeply knew weren't responsible for the spot she was fixed in.

Her mistakes seemed to regard her in pure parody anywhere she turned around. And like salt over raw wounds, disappointment oozed from the faces of her beloved ones. They had been hurt too. And that realization only entwined her intestines tighter. She searched for a way out, only to find all the exits had been sealed. She was drowning and only the will to survive gifted her the air she desperately needed. Her life as she had empathized whirred past her guilt-stricken eyes as one motion picture. Very dearly held moments of determination appeared ghost-like staring in the pale green of her eye. Could it be her? Could the situation be real? Her grit had been unmatchable.. her persuasions could never bend back without showing the light.. her promises and deeds had awed many-a-like and inspired most to a better living.. Where had it all gone wrong?

Her head had immersed now deep into the puddle of her fears cast like a transparent black envelope, smothering even the capability to wish for endurance. Slowly, she was losing everything that she had built, things she had so meticulously fought for and had cherished as her life's best....

Then came the greater fear, the dread of losing the same virtue that had tossed her to the top. Her eyes became shot clear at that instant and locked on the mouth of the blackness. She gagged beneath the heavy veil and groped to find something....anything.... that could reunite her with her courage. For she knew, that was the only thing, that could support her in a difficult penance she sought to embark. Indeed mistakes had been made, but there had to be a path to redeem her sins. If life could have an exit, its problems surely as hell do have one! It was going to be a long, slow journey to salvation and she knew she had to face it. A few steps in this course had already given her immense energy to plough forward amidst her failures. They had cumbered her enough, they would no more.. even if they multiplied. Uncertainties glided alongside just to remind her that they have always been there, and that she just hadn't noticed them before..She would fight.. fight till death stopped her.. cos she was a woman of power, talent, inspiration and realization. A woman as unique as uniqueness could trot in pride. Mere human coercions was never able to destroy her before and they wouldn't in future.. She would meet her fortitude.. she would meet herself again........

aeroyogi

13/02/2011