Often you don’t expect things that you dream in the broad daylight to happen to you..
Often you don’t see things the way they are although they scream out their sanctity loud..
Often you want to do something that you have secretly dreamt all your life and yet you are apprehensive to take a step towards it just because you are not good at it or may be the world will laugh at you!
But not very often you can let your hair down, be in the moment and savor every single pleasure life has to offer. In life’s struggle to get going, finish your job and get few appraisals in your own terms, its difficult to find child-like joy, disbarring all thoughts and actions that doesn’t matter, ignoring the world around and doing just the thing you want to do.
In that sense this summer has been truly gratifying for me. Why! In every sense this summer has been a pure stream of joy. Gusts of lessons trying to mould me stronger and more confident, waves of happiness, anxiety, relief, pride, faith, modesty, love, regret, shame, assurance all taking their turns to wash me thorough and rays of new hope beaconing me towards my long standing dreams… God knows it’s been a roller coaster season for me. I had never considered in my wildest imaginative world that I’d do all that I liked within the span of 3-4 months.. May be not perfectly, but atleast I gave everything I wanted, a try!! I discovered the joy of bending to my fantasies and doing things just the way I wanted to..
Hardly any classes this semester and it gave a lot of scope for other activities. I got back to playing badminton like after 12 years! And I realized I’m not all that bad at it.. My dad’s struggle to teach me for 5-6 years hadn’t gone futile. For the first time I entered the badminton court in my college! After 4 years.. I know its ridiculous but for someone who spent all her time in auditoriums for fests and other cultural activities, you should give her a benefit of slack judgement. Guys in my class were encouraging about it and gave great company while playing. Must thank Pooja here ‘cos she was the one who unburied the topic of badminton from the lost depths of my mind. It proved to be a great form of exercise to my then troubled mind and body and also made some good friends in the process.:)
I also got to hold a tennis racket and try few hits.. It’s a tough game!! :O
Trekking had always been a secret wish of mine and for once things worked out as planned. It took some effort to gather people around but thanks to Sanath, Karthik and my dad, without whom it wouldn’t have happened. In order to get a huge group going I called in a lot of people I knew from different fields. May be that was the only mistake I did.. I couldn’t stay with any group for long and in the march I was left out all alone mostly. But I’m not complaining. I still enjoyed it. Although I realized my fitness levels suck big time, I still want to go back.. I tried getting the group together once again for another trek but nature seemed to tell me I’m pushing my luck too far! Nevertheless, it was a great experience.. I’d go back to nature anytime.. May be ill post the details under another topic.
Ah! Then came basketball.. Seeing the guys team in my college win most of the tournaments they played, it sort of pumped me up too.. I hadn’t played a match in like 5 years & although I loved this game much more than any other I just couldn’t get back to playing because of various reasons.. Thanks to Shek, Tintin, Daddy and Jams.. Once they knew I used to play in school they encouraged me to play with them whenever we bunked classes (which we did after the first 2 hours everyday!) I am nowhere close to them in terms of the game but it still got that deep-seated passion for the game in me out in the open. Was quite apprehensive too but Shek and Tintin got me all comfortable.. They really didn’t seem to mind my horrible try at the hoops.. Really thanks a ton guys.. If not for these 4 guys especially Jams here may be I wouldn’t have joined the girls’ team for practice. I participated in VTU tournament as well.. Trained for 15 days under a superb coach and I had a jersey after a long long time!! All together I might have played for 15 minutes max in the tournament, but atleast I got a feel of it after a long long time.
Shek being the best on court, I had confided in him that I wanted to get back to playing ball, he immediately spoke to the coach of NGV, Koramangala (the same one as before) where he played and the coach readily took me up too… I was asked to go to practice every Sunday morning!! It initially again freaked me out.. Everyone there would be seasoned players and I’d make a big fool out of myself. But again as Shek put it and which I felt made sense- I didn’t have a reputation to maintain. I could afford to make mistakes. I am as good as a beginner so it shouldn’t bother how I play amongst those experienced. I am going for those practices regularly.. I was getting close to the ball and closer to the hoops.. Some glee ran through my veins. ;) Now that I am going there I want more.. I still need to build my game.. It rejuvenates me even though its just once a week prac and I don’t do anything appreciable! :D
Although my entire time was taken up by project work, basketball and others, I missed music. I had neglected it cos there were so many other things I wanted t do.. And that clearly showed in the unease I felt most of the time.. I realized whatever new stuff I may try and how much ever I would neglect music for something else even though momentarily, I know music is in me.. No one can take it out of me. For any reason. And I can’t neglect it even if I want to. I started singing anywhere and everywhere because of lack of time. Something that I was too shy to do.. It sort of got me some peace. And whenever I got time I used to have a full fledged practice and to my own surprise I was getting quite innovative without making mistakes!! :)
My project work was something that I was happy doing cos I know I wouldn’t have done a good job if I had chosen anything other than aerospace. This project sometimes got on my nerves but nothing is perfect in this world. I realized that too.. I thought I had made a wrong choice about my partner when everyone else said so (my mind was blissfully blank until then about this issue). But on deeper thinking I understood that I wouldn’t have got a better partner than Kala.. Thanks to him.. I couldn’t have imagined the same amount of work from someone else. He always does a great job when he is around. Only problem being he had too many commitments and was crunched for time. Yeah, we did have and probably still do have a lot of misunderstandings.. Each of us have spoken against the other in public when our nerves had gone all frenzy for different reasons, But being professional is something else that I have mastered over the past 4 years and again the best part-he is too! Learnt quite some stuff from him that I can put to use in future. Thanks Kala! ;)
Often you don’t see things the way they are although they scream out their sanctity loud..
Often you want to do something that you have secretly dreamt all your life and yet you are apprehensive to take a step towards it just because you are not good at it or may be the world will laugh at you!
But not very often you can let your hair down, be in the moment and savor every single pleasure life has to offer. In life’s struggle to get going, finish your job and get few appraisals in your own terms, its difficult to find child-like joy, disbarring all thoughts and actions that doesn’t matter, ignoring the world around and doing just the thing you want to do.
In that sense this summer has been truly gratifying for me. Why! In every sense this summer has been a pure stream of joy. Gusts of lessons trying to mould me stronger and more confident, waves of happiness, anxiety, relief, pride, faith, modesty, love, regret, shame, assurance all taking their turns to wash me thorough and rays of new hope beaconing me towards my long standing dreams… God knows it’s been a roller coaster season for me. I had never considered in my wildest imaginative world that I’d do all that I liked within the span of 3-4 months.. May be not perfectly, but atleast I gave everything I wanted, a try!! I discovered the joy of bending to my fantasies and doing things just the way I wanted to..
Hardly any classes this semester and it gave a lot of scope for other activities. I got back to playing badminton like after 12 years! And I realized I’m not all that bad at it.. My dad’s struggle to teach me for 5-6 years hadn’t gone futile. For the first time I entered the badminton court in my college! After 4 years.. I know its ridiculous but for someone who spent all her time in auditoriums for fests and other cultural activities, you should give her a benefit of slack judgement. Guys in my class were encouraging about it and gave great company while playing. Must thank Pooja here ‘cos she was the one who unburied the topic of badminton from the lost depths of my mind. It proved to be a great form of exercise to my then troubled mind and body and also made some good friends in the process.:)
I also got to hold a tennis racket and try few hits.. It’s a tough game!! :O
Trekking had always been a secret wish of mine and for once things worked out as planned. It took some effort to gather people around but thanks to Sanath, Karthik and my dad, without whom it wouldn’t have happened. In order to get a huge group going I called in a lot of people I knew from different fields. May be that was the only mistake I did.. I couldn’t stay with any group for long and in the march I was left out all alone mostly. But I’m not complaining. I still enjoyed it. Although I realized my fitness levels suck big time, I still want to go back.. I tried getting the group together once again for another trek but nature seemed to tell me I’m pushing my luck too far! Nevertheless, it was a great experience.. I’d go back to nature anytime.. May be ill post the details under another topic.
Ah! Then came basketball.. Seeing the guys team in my college win most of the tournaments they played, it sort of pumped me up too.. I hadn’t played a match in like 5 years & although I loved this game much more than any other I just couldn’t get back to playing because of various reasons.. Thanks to Shek, Tintin, Daddy and Jams.. Once they knew I used to play in school they encouraged me to play with them whenever we bunked classes (which we did after the first 2 hours everyday!) I am nowhere close to them in terms of the game but it still got that deep-seated passion for the game in me out in the open. Was quite apprehensive too but Shek and Tintin got me all comfortable.. They really didn’t seem to mind my horrible try at the hoops.. Really thanks a ton guys.. If not for these 4 guys especially Jams here may be I wouldn’t have joined the girls’ team for practice. I participated in VTU tournament as well.. Trained for 15 days under a superb coach and I had a jersey after a long long time!! All together I might have played for 15 minutes max in the tournament, but atleast I got a feel of it after a long long time.
Shek being the best on court, I had confided in him that I wanted to get back to playing ball, he immediately spoke to the coach of NGV, Koramangala (the same one as before) where he played and the coach readily took me up too… I was asked to go to practice every Sunday morning!! It initially again freaked me out.. Everyone there would be seasoned players and I’d make a big fool out of myself. But again as Shek put it and which I felt made sense- I didn’t have a reputation to maintain. I could afford to make mistakes. I am as good as a beginner so it shouldn’t bother how I play amongst those experienced. I am going for those practices regularly.. I was getting close to the ball and closer to the hoops.. Some glee ran through my veins. ;) Now that I am going there I want more.. I still need to build my game.. It rejuvenates me even though its just once a week prac and I don’t do anything appreciable! :D
Although my entire time was taken up by project work, basketball and others, I missed music. I had neglected it cos there were so many other things I wanted t do.. And that clearly showed in the unease I felt most of the time.. I realized whatever new stuff I may try and how much ever I would neglect music for something else even though momentarily, I know music is in me.. No one can take it out of me. For any reason. And I can’t neglect it even if I want to. I started singing anywhere and everywhere because of lack of time. Something that I was too shy to do.. It sort of got me some peace. And whenever I got time I used to have a full fledged practice and to my own surprise I was getting quite innovative without making mistakes!! :)
My project work was something that I was happy doing cos I know I wouldn’t have done a good job if I had chosen anything other than aerospace. This project sometimes got on my nerves but nothing is perfect in this world. I realized that too.. I thought I had made a wrong choice about my partner when everyone else said so (my mind was blissfully blank until then about this issue). But on deeper thinking I understood that I wouldn’t have got a better partner than Kala.. Thanks to him.. I couldn’t have imagined the same amount of work from someone else. He always does a great job when he is around. Only problem being he had too many commitments and was crunched for time. Yeah, we did have and probably still do have a lot of misunderstandings.. Each of us have spoken against the other in public when our nerves had gone all frenzy for different reasons, But being professional is something else that I have mastered over the past 4 years and again the best part-he is too! Learnt quite some stuff from him that I can put to use in future. Thanks Kala! ;)
One sense of achievement that reigned me through the summer is the admission I got in Delft University. :) I dunno if Ill be going for sure because of several hurdles to be crossed but this summer it definitely has been one hot topic of discussion at home and convincing parents, although a tedious task, was worth the effort.. Convincing my mom is an arduous task. Through all this may be I have improved my skills in winning over arguments! :D Thanks to all the people who showed confidence in me and who encourage and motivate me to achieve what i dream all the time- hamsa, suma aunty, karthik, srinivas, adarsh, sanath, kitty mama,Ann, butterchicken and many many more..
Apart from all this, mom’s made different kinds of happala, sandige, mango pickles and everything possible with mangoes! :D slllllluuurrrrrppp.. Reminds me of my childhood summer days with jo and her cousins.. Those games in sand dunes, in the attics of our houses, camping at each others place.. Blissful days.. :)
And lastly, even though I know this article is ridiculously large and if you have skimmed through till the end or actually read it! (Please let me know if you have-I’ll treat you*!;) ) I still feel great cos this is what I wanted to do today after a good jog and a nice game of badminton with dad!;) I wanted to write everything down without having to bother about the quality or quantity of literature and I wanted to put it up on my blog.. And so am I doing it! :)
*- You'll have to pass a quiz on this article! lol! :D
Swathi Krishna
17/05/09
